markoon's blog!!!

Resolutions for 2012

2012-01-01T15:49:00.000+08:00

1. I'm praying that my injury will heal by March
2. Work will be a bigger priority for me. Many assignments to do- form teachership, scouts, shooting (overall in charge of shooting now), school cross country, health and wellness club, PE and mathematics lesson, CBL, CCE and many other things.
3. Spend more time with girlfriend (at least twice every week) :D
4. Coach a cross country team (from jan to mar
5. Take up level 2 coaching course
6. Tuition
7. Learning to cook if i have the time?

2011

2011-12-31T15:55:00.000+08:00

2011 was a pretty tough ride. I felt totally lost and clueless most of the time. not knowing what to do, i held on desperately, trying to figure my way out as time passes by. I buried myself in work in an attempt to avoid the problems and worries that I had. It's almost the end of 2011. I wish to move on and look forward to new experiences and ideas. I want to work hard and strive to do better. Cheers to a better year ahead. Leave all those unhappiness in 2011. Smile :D

lost

2011-11-10T23:32:00.000+08:00

i wish my leg will be alright. i want to run again. i want to compete.

true... very true

2011-09-18T12:19:00.002+08:00

The Starving Baker for Teachers

Imagine if you will. You visit a bakery not far from your home. It’s new. You know you’re going to love this place because they’ve hired a new baker who has recipes for breads, pastries, donuts, cakes and cinnamon rolls that are to die for.

Word has gotten out about this bakery. Crowds start forming lines each day, waiting for the new confections to come from this baker’s marvelous kitchen. After you purchase your cinnamon roll, you sit down to watch this baker in action—and you notice something right away. The baker doesn’t seem to have enough help. Everyday, he ends up trying to serve all the customers himself. He is scurrying back and forth, busy with all the requests of the people—but oblivious to what’s happening to him. His exhaustion is quickly becoming burn out. What’s worse, as you watch him for a few weeks, you see a change. This man is getting thin. Very thin. It almost seems like he is shriveling up. What’s the deal?

Suddenly, the problem becomes obvious to you. This man never stops to eat. The irony is, he is so busy serving bread to everyone else, he never stops to eat anything he serves. With food all around him, he is starving. Hmmm. Sound familiar?

This is a portrait of me
When I started teaching in 1979, I soon became so consumed with creating an excellent program—the right environment, studies, lesson plans or lectures each week—that I never recognized what was happening to me. My work became everything to me—it was my identity. And the reason I didn’t see any problem with this is because it was all under the guise of serving kids. After all—isn’t that a good thing? How could serving be unhealthy? And besides, the parents were clapping for me. Wasn’t this equal to the blessing of God? I couldn’t see the difference between the adrenaline of flattery and the authentic fulfillment of healthy work. What’s more, the satisfaction of seeing results from my work numbed me to the starving condition I was in.

In short, I never saw what was coming. I was blinded by the fact that I’d been taught all my life to “lose myself in service to others.” (And, by the way, I still believe in that philosophy). Sadly, my entire life was about feeding others and I’d run out of fuel along the way. I was now serving people on an empty tank. My symptoms? I began to resent the meetings I had to attend. My attitude went south. I got irritated with my colleagues. I ran short on patience with my students. I was exhausted all the time. I was hiding behind the noble act of teaching, feeling like a martyr. As stupid as this may sound, I thought it would look selfish to take some down time for myself.

Ouch
It all came to a climax one afternoon more than twenty years ago as I stood in my home alone. My wife and I had purchased this home two years earlier. In our subdivision, the builders put the front lawn in, but left the back yard to the homeowner. In other words, the back lot was just dirt, rocks and tumbleweeds. Fortunately, those builders put a six foot high fence around the back yard—so no one could see it. That was great news for me at the time. I’m ashamed to say that I didn’t put any lawn or shrubs in that back yard for over two years.

On that afternoon, I stood looking out of my sliding glass window at my back lot, thinking I should really put in a lawn. In that moment, it all suddenly dawned on me. A reality hit me like a load of bricks: I had treated my life like I had treated my lawn.

Over the next few minutes, the layers of this reality unfolded. My front lawn—the part that everyone can see—looked marvelous. The grass, bushes and trees were all beautiful. Similarly, my public role as a teacher was great: my lesson plans, my style, my teaching techniques, my programs. The show was good. But the back area—the private part—was dirt. And I neglected it because no one could see it. Ouch. In that moment, I realized I couldn’t sustain my current mode of operation. I was obsessed with my public work, but it was not coming out of the overflow of a full private life. I was a starving baker.

I am not alone in this dilemma
So many leaders—in a variety of disciplines—fail to tend to themselves, and eventually are unable to really serve others. Educators. Pastors. CEOs. Doctors. Politicians. They are starving intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. When they do read books, magazines, their Bibles, or listen to CDs or podcasts, it is always for someone else. They are always preparing some program for others. They read for “program’ not for personal growth. They neglect to consume the nourishment and apply it to their own lives. Their “talk” is great. Their “walk” becomes fake. They go through the motions, but don’t really spend time digesting anything.

Starving bakers—so close to food, yet never eating. During the 19th century, Dwight Moody founded a Bible College because he saw this dilemma in among church leaders. He put it this way: “The greatest problem among ministers in my generation is they are trafficking unlived truth.”

“The Starving Baker” is a “Habitude.” Habitudes are images that form leadership habits and attitudes. Habitudes™ is a book series I am hoping will restore healthy leadership to our schools. “The Starving Baker” is simply a picture I hope you heed as I did. I hope it haunts you in a wonderful way the rest of your life. It simply reminds us that leaders must feed themselves before they feed anyone else. It’s actually the most selfless thing you can do. By feeding yourself, you enter your classroom full, speaking out of the overflow, instead of from yesterday’s “lesson plans.” I believe becoming a “starving baker” is the greatest occupational hazard for teachers and leaders.

So, Where Do We Begin?
When I recognized this struggle in my life, I decided to go back to the basics. I determined to develop a plan for personal growth. I am embarrassed to say, I had drifted from this discipline in the busyness of my career. Every year since 1987, I have taken a day in January and spent time alone reviewing the previous year and previewing the next year. My review involves looking over my past goals and accomplishments. My preview involves setting some new goals in the areas I really wish to grow in the coming year.

For instance, this year I decided I wanted to grow in six areas. Some were repeats form the last year; some were new. My six areas are: communication skills, leadership, financial investments, the art of negotiating, marketing and writing. In other words, just like a restaurant plans what to offer on their menu, I planned a menu for personal growth.

Next, I began choosing books I would read this year. I read two books a month. One to help me in these categories, and the other for pure personal growth—ones that will help me be a better husband, a better dad, a better man. I am growing as a teacher and as a person.

Third, I chose teaching CDs and DVDs I would listen to and watch for growth. Almost every time I drive somewhere, I am listening to a great speech or lecture or sermon in one of these categories. The console of my car is filled with discs that I listen to in route to my destination. I drive a university on wheels.

Fourth, once I determined the six areas in which I wanted to grow, I chose six people who could be mentors or coaches for me in those areas. I didn’t ask any one person to be an all-encompassing guru, like Socrates or Plato. I simply asked each person to meet me for lunch on a regular basis and allow me to ask them questions in the specific area I felt they had expertise. None of them turned me down. Those lunches are simple, informal and always fulfilling. I think it is a win/win conversation for both of us.

Finally, I am always on the lookout for new insights and resources in the areas I have chosen to “eat” this year. My food may come from a magazine (I subscribe to nine of them), or a friend, or a new acquaintance I meet out of town on a trip. Once I know what I wish to digest, the food for this starving baker seems to be everywhere. It reminds me of the old adage: When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

This is Not Selfish
I just returned from a trip to China. As our jet taxied on the runway, the flight attendant stood up to give the little safety speech airlines always give. You know the speech—the one about seatbelts, exits and seat cushions. I paid close attention to one part of the speech. It is the part about the oxygen masks that drop down from the ceiling in case of an emergency. Do you remember what they always tell you to do when that happens? They tell you to put the mask on yourself first before trying to help anyone else. Hmmm. Do you know what I noticed when the flight attendant gave those directions? Not one person on that flight stood up and griped, “Well, that just sounds very selfish to put the mask on myself first. I can’t believe you’d tell us to do such a selfish thing.”

Of course no one responded that way. Why? Because we all know a person won’t be able to help anyone for long if they don’t place the oxygen mask on themselves first. Bingo. That’s all I am saying to you. Don’t be a starving baker. You have to feed yourself before you feed anyone else.

FOR DISCUSSION…

1. Why do so many educators become starving bakers? Why do we fail to stop and refresh ourselves?

2. What are some activities you do regularly that “feed” you personally and professionally?

Dr Tim Elmore

bad week

2011-08-28T11:29:00.000+08:00

dealing with injury while having so much work to do sucks. alright i lied. work is ok, just that i don't feel like working when i'm at home. haiz. when will my leg recover? I doubt it will ever recover.

negative vibes. zzz.. i need to sit down, relax and think it through.

Pain

2011-07-30T22:01:00.002+08:00

I feel hurt by the injury, both mentally and physically. It's making the weekend really bad for me. :(

Sad

2011-07-24T23:27:00.002+08:00

Looking at my students' work, I feel so depressed. I failed terribly... :( :(

Happenings

2011-07-04T11:39:00.000+08:00

Ermm... The first update is probably my decision to carry on running. I prob can't train as frequent as before, but I shall give it a try. Second update: I think I have put on too much weight. I will go on a dietary plan to reduce my weight to 60 kg. Third update: school is great. I need to start on new goals and work on challenges. Have something to aim for. Thinking if I sld request to take on a 2nd cca. Sld I? I will ask my hod tmr.

Till then, stay healthy and work hard!

holidays

2011-06-15T23:09:00.000+08:00

i almost forgot i have a blog. anyway,holidays, busy with training. ermm...i gonna hang up my spikes pretty soon le.. training for my last competition. :( i'm sad... really... maybe that explains why i dont feel like reading the books that i am supposed to read. haizz... work life= no more running.. oh wells...

new sch

2011-05-28T18:06:00.001+08:00

new sch, new environment.. overwhelming, but i like it alot... so much things that can be done... its probably time to venture into something new..

:(

2011-04-29T20:47:00.001+08:00

i feel so badly drained-mentally and physically... so many things in my head, i can jus die...feeling sick as well... haiz... sian...

let it go

2011-04-16T17:55:00.002+08:00

like what my fellow trainee teacher told me, i need to learn to let it go.

:(

2011-04-03T16:22:00.000+08:00

it's really tiring to hang on. i really wanna give up... gonna take a break and see how it goes.

ideas

2011-03-27T16:08:00.002+08:00

finally i have some ideas for handball... gonna change my lesson plans...

things that i need to finish today

2011-03-27T15:00:00.000+08:00

just finished setting a class test. need to do my marking, lesson plans for maths and pe this week.

the best is yet to be

2011-03-23T22:50:00.002+08:00

the best is yet to be. i will work so much harder to be better, as a teacher and as an athlete.

fight the fight

2011-03-14T22:31:00.002+08:00

it's my fight, i cant depend on others. i need to fight this battle on my own.

angry

2011-03-12T19:12:00.002+08:00

am i the only one serious about training???!!!! damn pissed off...

is afraid

2011-03-05T17:30:00.002+08:00

i'm afraid that i cant make it for World Uni Games this year. not in a good form to run good timings this year... i wish i could get a lot better! :(

back from camp

2011-03-05T16:30:00.000+08:00

back from camp and the first thing i received is................. flu!!! :( :( :(.... anyway feeling better already... after a day of rest... yay... doing slopes later.. hurdles and 3 x 2.4km tmr!

thankful

2011-02-23T22:14:00.000+08:00

the last race was a bad fall, i almost wanted to give up.. but i'm thankful that coach was there to give me a lot of encouragement and support.. thank you coach! :)

making a comeback

2011-02-23T22:04:00.000+08:00

training hard, making a comeback...

disappointing timings

2011-02-16T23:03:00.001+08:00

so sad... haiz... i sld just quit track.. boo...

dead

2011-02-06T22:50:00.002+08:00

when do you know u are dead?
when you see tons of posts in the discussion board and none of them is yours.

sian

2011-02-04T23:55:00.003+08:00

so sian... need to do maths, need to do so many work... and its chinese new year... dont feel like its much of a break at all... sucks..

:(

2011-01-30T12:43:00.000+08:00

the feeling sucks when you know there are assignments that needs to be done before, during and after chinese new year.. i'm actually looking forward to TP 2 now. the 6 weeks now is torturing.. ok i should just shut up and start doing my bloody work... ciao...

2011-01-29T20:57:00.001+08:00

angry.. going to spam liao... idiot..

:(

2011-01-23T20:50:00.000+08:00

ran two 5km races in 2 days.. leg pain ah... so many assignment to do... can die ah... help help... :'(

happy with results

2011-01-19T10:15:00.002+08:00

finally results out... wat a relief... not too bad afterall.. left with one last semester to go then! yap!

day at home

2011-01-09T13:52:00.000+08:00

gonna spend the day at home. trying to recover from an irritating sore throat.. i will try out some of the remedies i found online, like salt water and honey lemon drink.. haha... coupled with a good book to read... tmr the start of my last sem.. ermmm where is my last sem's result???!!! sian... i hate to wait..

oh ya, officiating course the next 5 days... hopefully its fun...

hip flexor hurts

2011-01-03T11:11:00.000+08:00

hip flexor hurts from the long run yesterday... hopefully i can run later :x

Way back into love (with subtitles)

2011-01-01T13:22:00.000+08:00

after watching the show yesterday, this song got stuck in my head... but its nice, i love it! :)

plan for today

2010-12-31T13:02:00.000+08:00

from now till 2pm: play game

2pm to 3pm: nap

4pm to 5pm: one hour easy run

5pm to 6pm: read a book

6pm: head down supermarket to buy icecream for potluck

6.30pm onwards: potluck till midnight! :D

wishlist for 2011

2010-12-31T12:55:00.001+08:00

1) Ipad!!
I think the Ipad is like damn cool... can do so many things with it, like reading ibooks, imagazines. will be damn useful for work... i'm gonna get one when I get my first salary...

2) Levi jeans
haha... i need a really good pair of jeans... so get one pair of levi this CNY.

3) laptop
A good laptop after graduation... if i'm getting ipad, a MAC will be good..

4) A good camera
A good camera for taking photos, dont need to be a DSLR though...

5) A new sports watch
my super old G-shock is tearing up... need a new watch soon :D

6) A second-hand car
Gonna save enough so that i can get a second hand car at the end of 2011.. hopefully..

7) a Timbuk2 or crumpler sling?

8) A braun buffel wallet

9)Iphone 4 (optional)
haha... if I'm getting Ipad, the iphone will be like redundant... so ya... optional

wassup

2010-12-26T23:51:00.002+08:00

wassup ppl,

feels good to be back... so much plans for 2011... need to start penning down all my goals and plans... stay tuned to my blog... will have a lot of updates coming up :D

off to thailand

2010-12-15T00:31:00.001+08:00

off to chiangmai in 6hrs time... so exciting... time to set a personal best... lets go! :)

last 1.5 days

2010-12-11T19:29:00.001+08:00

last 1.5 days to go... its do or die time.... let me do my best with no regrets this time..

a bad headache

2010-12-04T21:01:00.000+08:00

popped two panadol... feeling better now... oh ya i need to start studying... has been a really tiring week... i feel like i need a break after Asean uni games.... will see how everything goes... now is time to work..

challenge

2010-12-02T23:53:00.000+08:00

its never a challenge if u can achieve it easily... to train and study hard till the 13th dec... i still have 11 days to go.. i can and i will accomplish it!

:) :) :)

2010-11-22T22:15:00.000+08:00

I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW!! :) :) :) :) :) yippeeee... woohooo... yayayayayayay.... haha... ok.... a little too happy.. hahaha

one more week

2010-11-22T11:37:00.002+08:00

just endure one more week.... after this week, i can start preparing for exams le...

drowning in school work

2010-11-21T21:49:00.000+08:00

it's really scary when clara tan keeps emphasising that she wants quality work from us... so have to keep editing, editing and editing... i haven even started with malay man... pls kill me.... haizz... i want to run... tmr morning pls dont rain... thanks...

i'm sorry

2010-11-19T21:02:00.000+08:00

it has been a really tough 2 weeks. i tried so hard and i struggled like mad. this time round, i'm really giving up, giving up on something that i love so much... i've decided to stop running, although i know that my passion for running is ever strong. i'd wish my coach would understand the things that i had to go through, but for now i know he wont. i owe everything to him. i'm sorry coach.

it has been a really tough day today.. special thanks to fabien, zhao ming, freddie, chris, sid and boon hui. deeply touched by your concern. i'm going to have a good sleep tonite and feel much better tmr.

time to fight

2010-11-13T15:50:00.002+08:00

i will fight real hard this weekend. lets do it!

love it

2010-11-11T21:11:00.000+08:00

i love training, i love running :-)

survival tips 101

2010-11-11T09:30:00.002+08:00

i have decided to quit facebook till the end of exams.. hahaha

:(

2010-11-10T21:28:00.001+08:00

some ppl are born lucky and talented... too bad i'm the unlucky and untalented one.

work

2010-11-08T18:41:00.002+08:00

is in chionging work mode... finally :D had to skip a training today to do work :( sorry coach.

critical period

2010-11-07T11:52:00.000+08:00

for Asean University Games, for a new personal best, for a 2nd upper, for my coach, for my project group mates, for all those who have supported me all this while and for myself, i will stay very very focused till the end of my exams. let the battle begin!

happy bday coach!

2010-11-06T22:34:00.000+08:00

had a surprise bday celebration for coach at amanda's place.. it was a success!!! :-) all his close friends and athletes turned up... food from coca was damn nice, i love it... hahaha... had lotz of laughter and fun today... reached home i was dead tired... cos its the 10th training session of the week le... rest day tmr :D :D :D, time to catch up with school work!!! anyway here's some photos taken today :D

damn nice food!

joseph, uncle loh, me and paul!

uncle loh and me!

end of IVP!! start of training and work!

2010-11-01T13:54:00.000+08:00

hello! decided to blog today... hahaha.... ivp ended last saturday. came home with 3 silver medals, 800m, 1500m and 4by400m.... ran a tactical race for 1500m... i had to cos i only spent 3 days training for it... hahaha... and it worked... purposely lead the first round with a slow pace... and everybody followed... hahaha... so i jus followed all the way till the last 100m then sprint pass to get 2nd. accidentally bump into colin at the last 80m though, opps, sorry..

anyway, I"M GOING AUG!!!!! WOOHOOO!!!yeayeayeayeayeayeayeayeayeayeayea!!!!! goal achieved!!!! woohoo... now its back to training!!! yes la... oh shit, and tons of assignment and work for me to do... not funny...

oh ya, i went anderson sec for interview today. sian,they are going to close down the track and field team. so sad.... haiz... really want to teach at anderson... oh well... its ok if they do not have a track team. i can still be involved in other sports cca.... hmm... maybe applying to go seng kang... will think about it...

just came back from gym... shag.. probably gonna finish my wet weather lesson then go for training later. yupz... :) :) :)

i'm ready

2010-10-18T22:49:00.002+08:00

I'm ready for 2010 inter varsity polytechnic 800m finals on Sunday. Wish me luck :-)

countdown: 16 more days to ivp

2010-10-08T22:32:00.000+08:00

i like counting to a significant event. it feel kind of exciting, but at the same time i feel the anxiety as well. i feel fit and ready for the race. hope everything goes well :D wish me luck ppl!

on a side note, tmr will be a shag day! have to chiong school work. then gym in the afternoon probably :)
sunday is a rest day :D

interesting personality test

2010-10-03T22:26:00.002+08:00

try this personality test. http://www.41q.com/

quite true. haha

idea

2010-10-03T18:15:00.000+08:00

i should write one of my post in malay soon. haha... i feel that to learn a language, one has to practise it every single day. I remember watching this documentary about people in china learning english just before the beijing olympics. one of the middle-aged guy wanted to be one of the ambassador for the olympics, so he and this group of friends kept practising, using english in their daily conversations and writings. that has to the correct attitude when it comes to learning something. u practise what u have learnt, then knowledge will be retained. :D

congrats :D

2010-10-03T17:47:00.000+08:00

congrats to amanda for breaking the national record, second time this year :D! anyway 3 weeks before ivp, i am super freaking totally out of mind scared right now.. i keep thinking of the race, how i going to run the race, whether things will go according to plan, what if i can't get first. i really want to show everyone how great my coach is, how he was able to train a lousy runner like me to run such good timings. i'm trying to hard to prove myself, i need to just relax and let things go with the flow.

the anxiety is so intense right now that i feel like running... haha... but i need to rest my legs... :D nidda practise some of the relaxation techniques that Dr John Wang taught me in applied sports psy class. LOL!

monday= mugging day

2010-09-27T12:31:00.002+08:00

time to study! i did absolutely nothing last weekend. gonna study my malay!

Sing Open photo

2010-09-21T22:15:00.000+08:00

Sing Opens 800m prize presentation. :D
hard core training till IVP :)

another 1.59 :D

2010-09-19T23:36:00.000+08:00

Sing Opens 3rd, timing 1.59.40 :) :) :)

beware!

2010-09-16T23:15:00.000+08:00

watch out. i swear i will beat you this year at ivp.

driving for 3 days

2010-09-10T11:41:00.000+08:00

yeap... my sis and brother-in-law going KL for holiday, so i get to drive the car for 3 days :D... cool cool.. drive around... damn fun... hahaha... anyway gonna stay at home to finish some work today, like writing an email to a school principal, then do my homework for malay level 1, read TE notes, maybe look at my maths topic and see what can be done... yeap... busy day...and there is competition tmr :)

welcome back :)

2010-09-09T09:09:00.000+08:00

off-form the last 2 days and yesterday suddenly getting back the feel good, confident feeling again. not the best training still, running still very stiff, but getting back the feeling is so so so important... i'm glad its back... one more training today and i'm ready to run this sat :D yeap yeap :)

random sickness

2010-09-05T21:31:00.001+08:00

having this random running nose and sore throat since last night... hopefully will recover by tmr... and i seriously need to do my tp file... like now.. but i'm sneezing like mad..

ache

2010-09-04T22:38:00.000+08:00

ache here ache there, ache everywhere... next sat competition, 9am innova jc.. not ready,shag, not good, dying, need to sleep, wish that singapore opens is more than 2 weeks away, random thoughts.. lol... can die...

school after 4 months of break :D

2010-09-04T14:38:00.001+08:00

ha... yah... 4 months of break and now back to sch. looking forward to it. i always enjoy being the student. its so much easier and relaxed.. not that i dont like being the teacher, but as a student i feel like there are lesser things to worry about and u can just take in the knowledge that the tutor or lecturer is teaching... being the teacher is totally different, things can be so fast-paced and u have to asking yourself, things like "what's next","what should i be doing", "i can i relay this message effectively", "how do i answer that question" and so on...a lot of self-reflection and working on improve the lessons. i feel that it's challenging and tougher being the one standing in front of the class, but its still fun though.

anyway need to "work out" my brains cos it feels like i left it in the cupboard for 4 months, minus the time when i took out to plan my lessons for practicum.. ha.. hope instructional strategies will be a totally new experience. teaching effectiveness challenging but not too difficult. maths as interesting as the first one that we took.. yeap, thats about it, and i hope i can change one of my days for malay elective so i dont need to drop it..

and i dont why one of the arrow on my keyboard drop out.. zzz... sian...

:`(

2010-08-30T09:59:00.000+08:00

why do i realise my own mistakes only after everything has happened? seriously... haizz... i sld have stepped in to help... why am i such a coward.. sometimes i can jus kill myself for not acting fast enough... haizz... hope i will have a second chance to redeem myself..

back to john while :)

2010-08-20T23:36:00.000+08:00

today went to SAA office to take the yog tickets... so anyway the office is quite near to the place that have worked at 4 years ago, as a part-timer packing springs (ya packing springs!!)... so ya since i am there and looking for food, i might as well go back to the kopitiam at the production company there to eat (the food there is damn nice)... had a great lunch there, there i decided walk to the company to see if there is anyone there i know.. to my pleasant surprise, uncle sim, whom i was quite close to (if you look at my posts 4 years ago), is busily working, in the same room, at the exact same spot 4 years ago... my first instinct was to walk up and wave at him.. for a moment, he stared at me and he gave the blur look. fortunately, he remember who i was !(beams*) then we had a small chat outside the working place... its nice when we meet up with old time friend..uncle sim's daughter is married now and he has a 1 month old grand-daughter... the last time i met her daughter, she was still in poly can! 4 years on, so much things has changed... amazing is it...

everything changed but i am still not changing... i cant be like this... i need to change and improve...

hate it

2010-08-19T13:17:00.000+08:00

i'm at this point where everything is going very wrong and i totally hate it... period.

words of reassurance

2010-08-17T22:36:00.000+08:00

I'm 1.23 secs away from qualifying for Asean University games. Qualifying timing is 1.57.8, and my recent timing/personal best is 1.59.03. It is definitely not easy to cut that 1.23 seconds in 800m. And I cant deny that sometimes I'm very very scared I will not make it. Fortunately, I have my coach, who is always there to reassure me, to tell me that I should focus on the training, do my best and not worry so much. I have 100% trust in my coach and I know he will fight all the way for me to qualify for AUG, no matter what. Right now, 2 more races before IVP and 3 more before AUG. I will train the hardest that i ever would and wont let my coach down.

11sept- Triangle meet
17 & 18 Sept- Singapore Opens
24 & 30 Oct - IVP (800m will be on 30th Oct)
15 to 23rd Dec- Asean University Games

who's that girl???!!!

2010-08-11T13:04:00.002+08:00

i think i'm in love with olivia ong!! LOL!!! she has such a nice voice!!

olivia's sometimes when we touch

24 le!

2010-08-01T12:49:00.001+08:00

thanks for all the birthday wishes! i just have one very simple wish this year, and I guess those who have been reading my blog will know exactly what it is! haha... anyway yesterday went amk with my sis and brother-in-law to look for a big sling bag.. my old one (the one i bought during army) is tattered and torn, so i threw it away! haha... today just like anyway normal day i guess... but i decide to wake up early to accompany my parents for breakfast! after this i need to do some lesson plan for my last week of practicum.. later on, mian xian for dinner with my parents, sis and brother-in-law! :) :) :) good day!

too tired

2010-07-18T12:54:00.000+08:00

i'm too tired to update my blog. period.

if i get selected

2010-07-02T12:51:00.001+08:00

Ok, i have to say that going to anderson sec sounds like a perfect plan... i can be coach/teacher-in-charge for the sch's track and field team, plus i can most probably squeeze in some time to train... anyway training was really good yesterday... partly bcos coach praised me for running well yesterday.. hahaha... ok i have to say i enjoy positive reinforcements...

then after we played frisbee... it was damn fun!! so I suggested a 3 pe teachers vs 3 acsi students game of ultimate frisbee.. i have to admit that i havent had so much fun for a long time... it was hilarious... i was laughing like mad throughout the whole game.. haha... final score was 2-0 to the pe teachers... woohoo... we didnt throw PESS's face... hahahaha..

busy

2010-07-02T10:57:00.000+08:00

ok... i'm currently too busy to start the running blog... need to prepare for tp1... ha... shit lah, sch haven even started and i already tio arrow le... zzz

random

2010-07-01T10:24:00.003+08:00

i wish i have a cute baby or a cute dog to take care of... LOL... ok this is really a random post...

my own journey

2010-07-01T09:47:00.000+08:00

it will be a journey on my own, to search for that passion for running again.. i need to get over the reliance on my coach and step out of that comfort zone... i want to do well in ivp, i want to run in AUG... ultimately, i know i want to represent Singapore in the SEA games...

embarking on the journey

2010-06-30T12:39:00.000+08:00

ok... sounds slightly exaggerated... LOL... but i'm searching for my passion for running again... hopefully i can find the joy of running again...

reply to fred's post

2010-06-29T12:15:00.000+08:00

i'm not sure how to reply to fred's post on burnout, cos i'm in a dilemma myself... somtimes trainings are very enjoyable but on other days u jus feel damn shitty... its really not helping when i have to run on my own most of the time (cos i'm the only middle distance runner in the team)... sometimes explaining things to coach is a waste of time cos he start saying things like "u are giving excuses" or " dont give me this kind of nonsense"... so now during training i will jus keep to myself and dont talk... when he scold me just let him scold loh, i wont say anything le..

ok, so an answer to fred's post... whenever i do feel burnout or tired, i would usually take one or two weeks to search for that feeling of enjoyment... i would take my time to reflect, think and refresh... probably pen down on the negative thoughts, complain to my teammates/friends or read a few running books... most importantly, think positive and believe that things will become better after a while..

the very first time

2010-06-29T11:57:00.001+08:00

this is the first time i actually feel like quitting.. trainings not going very well, getting a lot of negative reinforcements from coach and totally feel like i'm not good enough... i think i totally lost faith in myself... no matter how hard i tried, i just couldnt improve... i wish my coach can give me greater support, but i know he is damn busy right now... maybe i jus rely too much on my coach when it comes to running... i just need to get over this period of frustration...

i guess i'm focusing too much on achieving the goals... its really killing the joy of running...

running blog

2010-06-28T22:39:00.001+08:00

i'm thinking of creating a running blog, to blog about my feelings during trainings and competitions... will be useful next time when i need to review my training timings and how i managed to overcome certain problems or difficulties... maybe i sld call it "run with markoon" :) any suggestions?

tuition

2010-06-27T19:34:00.002+08:00

always feels better after tuition.. probably makes mi realised that I can actually do something right... LOL!

demoralised

2010-06-27T12:01:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wished i was born an athlete... super flexible, have perfect running form, have damn long legs, VO2 damn high... but in reality, i'm damn freaking inflexible, have short legs, short stride length, cannot get the running form correct and i really suck at running long distances...

apologise for this emo post cos this week really dont feel right at all... i guess i reflect or think too much... ah... i actually dont mind tp1 to start really soon so that i can keep my mind off this crap...

changes

2010-06-27T11:47:00.000+08:00

come tp1, i will need to change for the better.. no more excuses such as feeling tired after training.. i have to do this... next year if i'm going to continue training, i have to plan and stick closely to my work... haizz... but i'm really afraid i cant do well this ivp... hate this feeling of low self-confidence... zzz

teaching practice 1

2010-06-26T22:35:00.000+08:00

3rd post of the day, that's a first i think

on this note, i sld get myself ready for tp1, which is happening next week..

my room is in a bloody mess... i'm damn freaking lazy to tidy things up (as usual). so nid to like make sure all my IM notes ( useful and useless ones) are ready, be prepared to teach any sports (hopefully not soccer but if i have to, then jus try my best), then print out the necessary documents... read some running books (tried reading one, but still not even half-way yet) and maybe re-look at some of 2010 goals ( i nid to revise abit)..

jus one week of hard work before the real work begins :)

impossible is nothing, if u have great self-discipline

2010-06-26T20:48:00.001+08:00

i guess nothing is really impossible, if one is really determined to achieve something... but the mind, or our brains have other ideas... when u are tired, u want to sleep and rest.. when u r hungry, u want to eat something nice... when u have worked too much, u feel like u need to play, go out or shopping... when u r alone for too long, u feel that u need someone to accompany u... all these distractions (or maybe i sldnt call it distractions) divert our attentional focus on our goals, prevents us from achieving our very best... in my case, there are times when i feel i want to focus all my energy on training, while the rest of the time i feel so damn freaky tired and wonder wth am i training so hard for if i still cant compete with the best in singapore (happens during shitty trainings)... thats why i feel the mind is like a double-edged sword... it can either make u so enthusiastic and focused on something, or it can also tell u that it is not worth doing something... at times u can control ur mind, while at certain times u feel so weak that u just let ur mind control u (especially when it comes to food :P) i guess the greatest test of self-discipline is whether u let your mind control u when u feel weak...

goals are really bullshit if we dont carry out the necessary steps to achieve it...

updates

2010-06-26T15:55:00.001+08:00

as u can see, my posts are usually very short. cos i cant write very well and most of posts are sudden emotions that i feel like penning down... anyway yesterday met up with classmates for lunch at tcc... a nice chit-chat plus suan-ing fabien session :P then off to training at yck stadium with amanda and kevin... hell workout- 2 sets of 8x400m, 68-70secs, 1.5min rest.. and wth, i ran too fast for the first... 61 secs... i was thinking, mr loh gonna kill mi...

today training in the morning and steamboat with coach... 2nd time in two weeks.. okay la, but i think i getting abit sick of the food there.... plus all the suan-ing from my coach makes it hell-worse... i think i really dread going for steamboat le... maybe next time i will give it a miss..

anyway SAA elections ended yesterday and my coach's team won.. congrats to the new team... lets keep up the work and make singapore track and field sports better :)

haha

2010-06-19T15:55:00.012+08:00

I always like reading my older posts... haha... then u will realise how much things have changed since then... quite like this post in 2007, the first training with my coach.. haha...

2007
"yeh today it was my second training wif the ntu team i really enjoyed it... technically this training can be considered as my first official training after a long long time.... but anyway coach came today... his name is mr low.... dun really noe him but i think slowly will noe him better bah...he seems like a friendly and fun coach haha... anyway today an exchange student from norway joined our training... he is pro loh 800 pb 1.52... wicked sick!!! he will be staying till next year may so maybe can get some running tips from him..

anyway today did 1k intervals.... i really cmi.... LOL.. the others 3 guys ran quite well and i ran super lousy.... i did jus 4times with super lousy timing and the rest did 5 times with excellent timings... but anyway this is only the start.. i will definitely train super hard to get back to the form i had 2 years ago... hope my ankle get recover real soon...

school has been very busy, especially this week... i nid to do alot of readings and i nid to write essays.. hope i can endure thru this sem... to my frens, work hard and jus hope for the best!! jia you!!"

firstly, its mr loh, not mr low... haha... and looking at the 2007 photos, i was damn freaking fat and unfit... train 3 times a week and i'm dying le... 2008 i was like training 4 times a week and still dying... 2009 started 5-6 times a week, but i was sicked all the time.. then 2010, lost a lot of weight, train like a mad dog (7-10times a week), but the best year so far... after 3 years, i really know my coach quite well le... haha.. and he is still a friendly and fun coach... a coach that is willingly to sacrifice for all of his athletes... anyway, we had a great steamboat lunch yesterday and a surprise father's day celebration for him... haha.. he was so happy and surprised :) anyway hopefully things will go well for the SAA elections, which is happening next week.. coach is fighting very hard for the new team to succeed... affiliates, pls vote the right people...

disappointing

2010-06-13T23:06:00.002+08:00

haizz... disappointing... 4.23... no pb... wth... every race is a lesson learnt... need to improve..

18 hours to go :)

2010-06-12T21:02:00.001+08:00

ok i think i'm too excited... i got this random back pain from nowhere.... wth.... anyway i know i gonna do pb tmr, but i dont wan to get too excited over it... jus hope that i dont disappoint myself and my coach... hopefully i will do a 68s first lap, cos i always start off too fast... deep breaths... relax... go:)

ass kicking

2010-06-11T23:04:00.002+08:00

time to kick some ass on sunday.. new personal best for 1500m coming up :)

over :)

2010-06-08T10:17:00.000+08:00

finally i feeling fine again.. last week was bad... burned out, tired, shagged and not sleeping well at all... reenergised after yesterday's training... i will run a good run this sunday.... 4.15 :)

scared

2010-06-07T14:14:00.004+08:00

after some calculation, i realised i CANNOT screw up in yr 4!! the worst i can get is all Bs and 1 B+.... cannot cannot... i would probably die of anxiety if this happens...ok ok... mus work damn freaking hard le!!!

tired

2010-06-05T22:03:00.001+08:00

tired from training... rested this afternoon and tmr a full day rest... tmr going out with my jc best friends :)

what else?

2010-06-04T13:07:00.000+08:00

haha... yes... what else besides training... nth... LOL! this week double training with coach, so i practically see him from morning to night... good thing is my stamina is improving... the not so good thing is I'm getting more scolding from him..LOL... ok la coach, u say wat wat la, i got no energy to talk back le.. lol...

today is my first afternoon rest day, after a super shag ttm morning training... haha... everyone is like so scared that there's training later.. haha... well, a good rest today cos i can predict a very tough workout tmr (anyway everyday also tough workout, so what's new,zzz)

and exam results not out yet, wth... hopefully they wont release it at all!! LOL...

1.57

2010-05-23T21:51:00.000+08:00

2010 will be a very significant year for me... either i make or break for Asean University games... every single day i think about doing 1.57 for ivp and getting selected for AUG... come on, i need to give my 100 percent and nothing else... i will stay disciplined and focused all the way till the end of AUG...

cambodia in 12 hrs time

2010-05-17T20:41:00.002+08:00

cambodia!!! here we go : ) :) :)

:)

2010-05-13T22:20:00.000+08:00

loves training :) :) tough training, but great training partners... ocassional frisbee throwing is damn fun :) looking forward to the lunch on sat (gonna be damn funny) and the cambodia trip next week :)

lol!

2010-05-07T10:08:00.001+08:00

from my fren's blog... so damn funny...

The other day I was sitting in my college's coffee shop at about 1 am. There weren't many people left in the place and I noticed 2 couples talking. One guy started calmly explaining that he had found the perfect way to propose. He would "jump out of the bushes dressed like Ash Ketchum and hold out a Pokeball with a ring in it and say I CHOOSE YOU." My new goal this semester is to meet this guy. MLIA

2010-05-02T12:51:00.002+08:00

i think i have never wanted something so badly before... my mind is fixed, i gonna do it... 5 more months to IVP... work hard and no regrets...

best holiday ever

2010-04-22T12:44:00.001+08:00

i love holidays... really enjoy training full-time + coaching + tuition, although its tiring to train twice a day, but i know it is worth the sacrifice..

gonna run 1.57 and bring back the 800m gold... thats a promise to myself...

nid to buck up on my readings soon..there's so much to read... hmm... and i nid to bring back all the stuff from hall also...